Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man – Steve Harvey | Book Review


This is the best selling dating book for women. The author of the book, Steve Harvey shares his views on how men think, act and behave towards women. He shares his knowledge on dating strategies to help women secure men, happy relationships and a possible wedding ring.


The book consists of 3 parts with each part having a sub heading. It has a total of 232 beautiful pages with short stories. As the book is written in parts, I will also review it in parts. Short notes would be added a little bit for easy comprehension.


PART I – The Mindset of a Man


  1. What Drives men.

Steve Harvey says that men are simple and are all thinking the same way. I have to agree with him. Men are not same but they have almost the same thinking regardless of their age and who they are. What drives men then? No matter where he is currently at, men are simple.


There are 3 things that drive him or shape his identity and his soft esteem.

–Who he is.

–How he gets to start up what he does.

– The reward he gets.


According to Steve, a man must fulfill a minimum in those 3 areas to feel like he is fulfilling his duties before he figures out how to archive his goals. He will be too busy to deeply focus on relationship and family members. You don’t want to disrespect Steve by disagreeing on this awesome piece of truth.


  1. Our Love Isn’t Like Your Love.

Men and women love differently. A woman prefers to be loved many times a day and would probably expect a man to do the same. However, men love in 3 different ways instead. He calls them the 3 Ps, which stands for:






If a man truly loves you, he will tell everyone that you are his woman and introduce you with an official title. Conversely, if he doesn’t take you out there to introduce to his family or when his friends come around, forget it, you are not the one.



The more a man provides, the more he feels like a man. If he can’t provide, he doesn’t feel like a man. That’s one of the reasons why men who can’t provide, often run away from their father’s duties to escape the feeling of inadequacy. Provide is not to monitor the woman but to help fix, and solve problems.



When a man loves you, he will stand up and defend you physically from people who are disrespecting you and by doing things that will not endanger your love.


  1. The 3 Things Every Man Needs.

Men need 3 things.


–Loyal Support




Means to make him feel like he is special. I can’t agree less on this.


      *Loyal Support

Means that you will stand by his side no matter what.



Steve says a man can only go a month without sex. I don’t heartily agree with him on this one thou. He says that if you as a lady start rationing a man of sex, he will start looking for it elsewhere. I will allow your mind to dwell on what my mind is currently judging on this one.



READ ALSO: >>6 Books To Kick-Start Your 2023 Reading Goals<<



  1. Talking Differences.

This sub chapter talked about what drives men. It almost summarizes the first sub chapters. He wrote that men are purpose driven-talk and solution-finders. Real Men rarely open up like women, it’s in their DNA. They prefer to go on the low key to figure out and proffer solutions.



PART II – Why Men Do What They Do


  1. First Thing First.

The first sub heading of part II says that men are simple. When they come to talk to you, they like you. And when he comes, he has two things in mind.

–If you will seek with him to excel.

–And how much effort will it take to have you do what he wants. When he comes, he wants to know the things you want. The prices of things you go after. He wants to know what you are made of.


6 . Sports Fish Vs Keepers.

Steve Harvey says that men divide women among women; good women for a night and good women for a long term. The key to have in mind on this one for a man is to decide whether she is disposable or worth keeping.

However, being a high quality woman does not matter, when you come to a man; you have to set the bar high, by demanding and requiring proper behavior, and to communicate with your actions that you are a keeper even if he is not willing to keep you.

Here is the thing. If you are looking for something serious, do all this, he will introduce you to his friends, and he will be true to his word and shows up on time. The man will be happy to meet your kids anytime.


  1. Mama’s Boys

Does your boyfriend put his mother above you? That’s not a good sign to show that you guys will be together as a team.

Steve, talked about things that you ought to do that will make him to put you above every other person.

–You need to respect him.

–Be willing to learn from him.

–Be nice to his family members or friends.


  1. Why Men Cheat.

Harvey says that men can have sex without emotions, which means that he can love you and still go out to cheat due to eager supply of sex from other women. These are men who lack discipline. Never deny him of sex even if you are not too strong. Once you are not sick to the core, just do it.



PART III – The Playbook


  1. Men Respect Standards–get some standards.

The author says that men like women with standards. However, this doesn’t mean that the woman should get on the man’s face and tell him what he must do and not to do. You as a woman need some tactics and good presentation for your requirements regardless of who he is. Don’t look down on him. He is always the head.


READ ALSO: >>Writing Competitions in January 2023<<


  1. The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She gets In Too Deep.

Steve proposes that you find five things about him early on before you get into doing deep things with him.

These are:

–His long term plans.

–How to fit into who he is.

–What he does, and

–How much money he makes.


Long Term Actions.

–Is he acting on his plans?

–He says things and don’t do them?



–What is his relationship with his mother and God like?

–How does he feel about his family and his children if he has any?


What He Thinks About You.

Steve went on to give details with examples. I won’t mention them because of time. The post is already long.


How He Feels About You.

You really want to see deep feeling like missing you? Or feeling great with you all the time?


Answers to the Five Questions

1 and 2 tells you if he is ready for something like long term relationship with you.

3, tells you if he wants something long term through his actions.

Question 4 and 5 come after you have known him for a while.


These questions by themselves will also start causing him to see you differently and to have a better life with you.


  1. The Nine Days Rules.

This sub heading of part 3 relates to sex and you can imagine what it means. Don’t deprive him of sex because you are busy, troubled or your mind is not at rest or you don’t feel like doing it. His love for you will start fading over time.


  1. Let Him Get The Kids.

If you have kids, Steve recommends that you introduce them early on to check compatibility whether the man can stay or whether he is OK with their behaviours. He is talking about single mothers here.


  1. Strong Independent and Lonely Women.

This sub heading centers on when a woman is Okay with what she has. She claims that she doesn’t need a new man. Man cannot provide and protect, she feels purely useless in the end. In addition, a woman is psychologically stable if she is emotionally stable.


  1. How To Get The Ring.

To continue having a peaceful relationship with him, you must get him a ring. Buy that ring and let him put it on you if he is not doing so, pull out. But don’t let it stay too long. You don’t want to become “The Lord of The Ring”.


Conclusively, men show love by professing or introducing you as an official friend to their friends or family members. They also show love by protecting and providing for you instead of calling or texting to find out whether you are fine. In return, they need support, loyalty and sex.


You can get it here.

Thanks for reading.

About The Author

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share via
Copy link